Independent lady

Tick tock tick tock

Goes the sound of the alarm

Up and alert

She rushes to her jaccuzi.

In half an hour

She is ready for the day

Her spirits uplifted with a cup of coffee

She spints off to work.

Being an early bird

She is first to arrive

And quickly bends over her paper work

Possessed with her job.

Turning down invitations

Shooing away social gatherings

She works and works

A workaholic she is.

Breathing work,living her work

She expects results

And gradually she rises up the social ladder

Ready to conquer men.


It shouldn’t have ended like that

She felt inferior to him. She couldnt believe she was dating him. She found it hard accepting she was now his girlfriend. She was so insecure. Marlon had everything he wanted. His parents were rich,maybe billionaires. They could get him anything he wanted. He lived a life many people would give an arm and leg for. He was social,outgoing,happy but one thing that really made her worried was he was never a hardworker. Yes,he got everything he wanted but never through making himself work so hard. He was proud of her. He said he really loved her,made everybody believe so.

Mercion dreamed of a life like his. Unlike Marlon,she couldnt get everything she wanted. She had to work really hard to get what she wanted. Her family was not above at the social ladder neither were they below. They worked so hard to get what they had and so she knew the meaning of hardwork. She never let her parents down,was always at the top rank in her class.

She reflected on what Marlon had done for her. He had done a lot for her beginning with the expensive dinner dates,short vacation trips,dresses and shoes he bought,his little fancy treats. He truly loved her. He saw his future with her.

“Mercion,”Marlon called out.

“Yes dear,”she replied.

“I would like to take you to meet my family.”

“What!” She said,choking on the food she was eating.

“Why are you surprised? Dont you want to meet my family?” Marlon asked,surprised at her reaction.

“Umh,that’s not the case. I would really love to meet your family but dont you think it’s too early for this?”

“Nothing is ever too early or late for love dear. I love you and meeting my family is not going to change that. Besides,they really want to meet the girl am dating. Please!”

Mercion was not comfortable with the idea. She felt it was too early for her. Given their social differences,she wasnt sure of how to behave before them. Nevertheless,she loved Marlon deeply and couldnt say no to his request. She sighed.

“Ok,when are we going?”

“Tonight. Thankyou so much for accepting to come. I love you,” he said smiling at her.

“Marlon,tonight??? Are you kidding?”

“Am not. It’s tonight. Am so happy,cant wait to be…”he stops after realising Mercion is downcast.” What’s wrong dear? You dont look happy.”

“Am okay. It’s just that i dont think i have something to wear for the dinner.”

“Dont worry love,we are going shopping after this. Before you say no,let’s go. The car is waiting outside.”

Marlon bought her a red valentine dress with a sweetheart neckline accompanied with silver heels. She was ready by seven just as instructed. She heard the sound of a car entering their compound and instantly knew it was Marlon. She rushed downstairs to say goodbye to her parents.

“Mum,dad,he is here.”

“Yes baby,we heard him arrive. Go before he gets anxious. And be a good girl,remember your manners.”

“Yes mum,love you all.”

“Love you too our baby.”

She went out and found Marlon at the doorstep.

“Hey babe,you look beautiful in that dress.” He said while taking her hand and heading her to the car. They drove in silence each lost in their own thoughts. It took them 30 minutes to reach the mansion. She stared at the beautiful white building in amazement. It was bigger than she thought it would be. How does the inside look like? She wondered in silence. She followed Marlon silently as they entered the house.

“Mum,dad,we are here,”he called out. His mother came out of the kitchen at once. She looked elegant and beautiful. She embraced them before heading back to the kitchen for final preparations. His father came in next and did the same. Some of their relatives were also there since it was a family dinner. It wasnt long before they were called to the dining area. She tried to behave just like the rest of them. She answered the questions directed to her politely and in the best possible way. Dinner was successful and she interacted with most of them. They were so good to her. After dinner Marlon drove her back home and thanked her for being there.

It had been a week after the dinner and she had not seen Marlon. She was beginning to get worried. He called less unlike before when he used to call her on a daily basis. What was going on with him? Did i do something wrong? She asked herself several questions but found no answers to them. She decided to call him. She asked him to meet her and he accepted. Thay had coffee together,talked about how their lives had been since they had dinner before Marlon decided to spill the beans.

“Mercion,”he called.

“Yes,”she answered.

After a long silence between them,he answered,“We have to break up.”

“What! Am i dreaming? Why? What did i do wrong? I can change. Just tell me what i did.”

“You did nothing wrong and please dont make this more difficult for me. Let us part in peace. Stay away from me. Okay?”

“Why? Why are you doing this to me? Marlon,i thought you loved me. Where is all this coming from?”

“Just accept it. We cant be in a relationship anymore.”

“Give me a reason Marlon and i will stay away from you.”

After she persisted for some time,Marlon ended up telling the truth.

“Why Marlon? You cant just do this with no proper reason. Talk to me.”

“Okay. My parents want us to break up. They forced me to do this. They dont want to see you near me,”he answered tears streaming down his chubby cheeks.

“What!”Mercion mouthed. This had been her biggest insecurity. She had to take it either way.

Victim of love

He is always there

He never goes away

He chooses to terrorize

His priority is to control.

He captured my soul

He made me a victim

He locked me up in the dark

I become only a victim.

Stronger in the outside

Yet vulnerable in the inside

Much as i hate to admit it

I am a victim of torture

A victim of love

Love that no longer exists.

The model edition

There she was

Vibrant and charming

Elegant in the red silk dress

Matched perfectly with red stilletos.

Perfect she was

With classy curves perfectly revealed

Swaying her hips left to right

She stood out among millions.

Edsheeran’s happier on the stereo

She swayed her hips to the tune

Millions staring at her

She carefully catwalked down the aisle.

A story to tell

I am at a point of depression as I think again and again of how it happened. Am still asking myself what i really did wrong. I have reviewed everything i said and did but found no faults. If by any chance there is,i think i apologised. The whole experience is still fresh in my mind. I apologised,pleaded for his forgiveness,pleaded for mercy but i guess he had made his ears numb to my voice.

It all began when he asked me a single question: “Hey,have you ever gained pregnancy,aborted or had a baby?” Needless to say i was shocked. I replayed the quetion again and again in my mind. Was i dreaming? I pinched myself,slapped myself severally but no,this was no dream. Is he really the one who asked that? Is he okay? I wondered silently. He knew my personal life more than anyone. Maybe he was joking,i thought. I managed to gain courage and ask,”why do you ask?”

“I just want to know and please tell the truth,”was all he answered with a serious expression. Is he playing a prank on me? I thought. Maybe he was trying to scare me. Without thinking clearly,i also decided to play the game. I came up with a good perfect lie with an aim of scaring him. Please mark my words,i wanted to scare him. Little did i know that i was in for a huge disappointment.

Something else i forgot to mention,we had not been communicating for a week. I guess we all had pride and none of us was ready to lower their walls of pride just yet. I wanted to be seen as independent but i guess i was wrong. He wanted to be boss in our relationship pretty badly. I was too proud to realise that. I guess regrets just have a tendency of coming later when the big part has already happened.

Back to the present. I answered back with too much confidence that i still ask myself whether it was me. Maybe something else had taken control of me.

“Yes,i have a baby boy,three years old now,living with my mum. Do you want to know the details?”

Imagine this is what I,Shantel said. Anyone who knows me well enough will confidently tell you that that wasnt me.

“Call me if you really wanna know,”I added.

As i entertained myself that night with a romance novel that night,I received a call.

“Hello Shantel,could you please send me your airtel phone number?”

I wasnt using my airtel line at that time. My safaricom and telkom lines were the only ones active. I was about to ignore the request but thought twice about it. I quickly switched the lines and had my airtel line active within minutes then send over the much needed number. I guess curiosity of what he was going to say is what took toll over me and made me rethink on the decision i was making.

I was really enjoying the novel i was engrossed in when i received a call from a strange number. Who would dare call me past midnight?

“Hello,”I called out.

“Hello,do you recognise the voice?”

“Pardon please.” Upon repeat,I realised it was him.


“Yes,how did you know it was me?”

“Heard your voice. What’s up?”

“I called to know the details,just as you asked me to,now talk to me.”

My muscles got tensed. What was i going to say? I was only joking but couldnt retract my statement just yet. My stubborn nature made me not to. I wanted to test him,get to know what he would really do. This was my chance to know whether he really loved me. We girls are always so insecure when it comes to love and boyfriends. That was what was happening to me at that time.

“I cant,”I answered.

“C’mon Shantel,you can. Talk to me.” He pleaded. I played adamant for a while but let us just cut it short,I had to tell him something or else he wasnt going to rest. I told him the fabricated lie i had rehearsed that afternoon. Then came the hardest part.

“Why didnt you tell me?”he asked.

“I never trusted you with this,”I answered.

“Dont you trust me? You always say you do but now,why did you do this?”



I just couldnt find answers to his questions. We ended up arguing,Damiano choosing to put pressure on me and making me feel guilty. He ended the call with no goodnight and i was left in suspense as to whether the relationship had come to an end or was just strained. The days that followed were a big torture for me since he never replied to my apology and when i called to check whether he was okay,he ended up giving the phone to one of his girlfriends to talk to me. Hey,dont get me wrong,i never said lover. It’s just a girl who is a good friend,okay? I had never met the girl,never heard her name so i only ended up with more questions.

Let’s talk about depression. Have you ever found yourself in a state of depression? My guess is you havent. I will yell you what it is like. I began relapsing,basically talking less and thinking more. I skipped meals,ate to keep my body quite strong and prevent diziness. I am that kind of a girl with a weak body. I got weaker and weaker but kept it together. No one noticed because i chose to keep to myself. I slept a lot,literally a lot. I felt safe in my blanket with earphones in my ears and music booming all around me. I shut out the entire world through music. It was my only remedy.

I have a friend who is always quite concerned with me. As we prepared for a Sunday mass she asked me why am allowing myself to be stressed. She knew i was having problems with my boyfriend. So on that Sunday morning,she gave me advice and boosted my moods. I was finer than the rest of the days. I did my staff just like i always did. While chatting with one of Damiano’s friends that day,i got to learn that he had another love affair. I was shocked. I never expected this from him. I was mad at the way he treated me just because he had some other lover. He treated me worse than a beast. Can you imagine making a call to someone for almost ten times without the person picking up? That is what exactly happened to me. I felt hurt. I knew i was the one at fault but I atleast tried to apologise. He said it was okay when i told him i had lied to him but he refused to forgive me. The cold treatment was too harsh. It was so unlike him. He called again that Sunday. I guess his friend must have asked him to do so. The aim of the call was to know why i did it. He still strongly believed that i had a baby despite telling him countless times that it was a lie. Needless to say,the call ended abruptly with him still mad at me.

For me,i knew it was over but i still had to hear it from him. So recently i chatted with his friend. I poured out my fears to him and he was so understanding. He adviced me and i found the courage to text my boyfriend whom i knew i was losing. Here is the conversation:

Hey,how are you doing?

Fyn which is fine

Can we chat?

K which is okay.

Am sorry.


For everything,lying to you,talking the way i did to you…forgive me please.

Sawa meaning fine.

The cold treatment was beginning to irritate me. He didnt want to talk to me but i had to get it out of him so i became persistent. I think i got what i wanted because he ended up saying he cant love someone whom he now doesnt trust. You clearly know what that means but i refused to take it. It was not until he said the words,“All i want is for you to stay away from me,” that i got the message clearly and decided to give up.

If you are wise enough,you now know that i have been dumped. I dont know how to take it but one thing i really dont want is going back to the depression state. I really hate it. I cant pull myself down because of a heartbreak but the truth is it hurts.

I couldnt believe he was the man who promised me love,made me believe that he couldnt live without me,made plans for the future with me. I now doubt if he truly loved me or was just using me. I dont want to corrode your minds but all I can say is men are liars who really dont know what love is. I am back to my old saying,“Men are beasts.” A saying I used to hold onto dearly before I met the guy who is now my ex,much as I hate to say it. My 2018 valentine present is a heartbreak,funny right? We all expect beautiful presents and perfect treatment but i think for me,fate had this in store for me.

Once again,I dont mean to corrrode your minds. Love is the best thing ever and being in love is one perfect thing that i respect. Just dont joke around with each other’s feelings. One more thing,never let a single mistake ruin a relationship. I wish you all a fabulous valentine day. Enjoy yourselves.

My valentine

I sat at the waiting lobby of casino lodge waiting. I had arrived way before the speculated time, not because am always time conscious but because i was anxious. I had really looked forward to this day and i couldnt wait to see what it was going to bring forth. Atleast i learned the art of patience that day and surprisingly perfected it. To prevent myself from being nervous and worried,i made myself busy with a magazine.

I glanced at my watch and realised it was already fifteen minutes past the agreed time. I immediately became nervous. Was he really going to show up? I asked myself. I fervently parted my lips in prayer without even realising it. I guess my subconscious being always knew there was a supreme being we could turn to during moments of crisis. Fifteen more minutes passed without a sign of him. Was he caught up in traffic? Was he in danger? The mere thought of Savor being in danger sent chills down my spine. What was really happening to him? He was always time conscious unlike me. Had he overslept? I decided to call him for an explanation.

Damn it! The call went directly to voicemail. I hated those services so much. Where the hell was he? I felt like i could punch him the moment i saw him for making me wait this long. “Madam,is everything okay? Is there anything i can do for you?” A waiter asked me. These people always have a way of making you look stupid. I am not here for a joyride mate,am waiting for an important person. I said under my breath. “Am perfectly fine,it’s just that he is a bit late. Thanks for your concern though.” I replied with a fake smile trying to sound polite. “Enjoy your time,”he replied handing me a glass of wine. I was tired of waiting but i couldnt help it. I needed him. I really wanted to see him again. I watched sadly as couples passed by with valentine gifts wearing huge smiles on their faces. They looked beautiful. I think i was jealous of them at that time.

After an hour of waiting,i could no longer take it. I went over to the reception desk. “Excuse me,”i said.

“May i help you,”she replied.

“Has Mr.Savor Grayson checked in this hotel?”

“He was here three hours ago. Do you have an appointment with him?”

What the hell? How could Savor do this to me? He could have atleast told me he is already here. He better have a good explanation to this crude behaviour otherwise he wont like it. I was good at creating tantrums,i knew just how to do it and he was in for a very good one.

“Err,ummh,can i get his room number please? I need to see him.”

“Wait a minute please,let me call him and check if he can see you. He doesnt wish to be disturbed. What is your name?”

“No need to go through the ordeal of calling him. He knows am coming.”

“Sure,room 802. To your left.”

“Thankyou so much.”

I quickly made my way to the room without waiting for her reply. 802 was boldly written at the top. I courageously knocked quite loudly on the door and waited for it to be opened. I was fuming with rage inside me. Immediately the door knob twisted i was already forcing myself in.

“You better have a good explanation to what you just did Mr.Grayson.” i said forcing entry to a half opened door.

“What the hell!” I said on seeing the figure hoisted on the door in a bathrobe.

“Who are you?”she asked.

“And who are you?”I shot back. Then i heard his voice,“Babe,who is there?”

“Babe???”I loudly gasped. The girl infront of me sneered at me before i heard her say,“Some ugly bitch ranting about you giving her an explanation. Do you know her?”

Before i knew it,i gave her a hot slap. How dare she call me bitch! I was fuming with rage. I didnt know what was happening. I was confused. She dared to slap me but i moved backwards. Savor came just at the right time before a fight ensued. Seeing him made me more confused. What was he doing in the same room with a girl in a bathrobe and he in a towel? I couldnt quite figure out what was going on. I fixed my gaze on him and demanded an explanation.“Go in sweetheart i will handle this,”he said. How dare he call h sweetheart right before me. I felt betrayed. I felt used.“Can i help you mum?” I heard him ask. Without warning i slammed him hard against the door and made my way into the room. It was time i taught that bitch a lesson. She has to know i own every part of Savor including the money she was squandering. I was the reason he got to where he is and there was no way he was going to dump me.

“Hey bitch,has he ever told you about me? It’s time you really know who i am.”

“Then what,”she snapped back.

“Wow,she’s got guts just the kind of friends i always love to have. Just so you know,Savor’s territory is my territory and i am the one who dictates what happens there. If you are wise enough i think you now realise you aint welcome here. It would be a wise decision for you to leave right now.”

“What makes you think i can listen to a scumbag like you?”she said pushing me against the wall and picking a fork from the nearest table. Just as she was about to strike,i pushed her away with all my strength. Boom!came the sound of her weight coming in contact with the floor. Before i could fathom what was happening,there she was lying in a pool of blood. Fear struck me. I bend down to check if she was alive. No,this couldnt have happened. I never intended to do this. She must have hit her head on the edge of the bed. I was afraid. I had never commited such a crime before. I was in big danger. How was i going to explain this???

I thought of Savor,the man i loved,the one we shared memories with. How could he possibly do this to me. How could he betray our love just like that? How was he going to take in what i just did?

Watch out what really happened after that in the next edition.

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. β€” Izaak Walton

Being in the festive season,we all expect love from all around us. It is a period of time when every single mind is thinking about valentines. If you are not aware,valentines day is lovers day and everybody wants to be loved. Get to know what happens as valentines day approaches in my next blog. Watch out…post